My husband and I aren’t religious. We don’t have kids and we don’t have family nearby. We also stopped going “home” for the holidays (our respective birthplaces that aren’t really home anymore) years ago.
Given all that, Christmases aren’t typical in our home.
I’m not complaining about our nontraditional holiday season. On the upside, we don’t have huge lists of Christmas presents to buy, there’s no exhaustion from the hustle and bustle, no excessive holiday parties or time spent with family members we’d rather not hang out with. It’s a very peaceful, drama-free time of year for us, actually.
That said, there’s always an underlying sense of FOMO (fear of missing out) that comes with having an experience that’s different from what we see on TV and even in the blogosphere. I always have those moments of feeling as though I’m on the outside looking in when I see pictures of beautifully decorated homes or adults drinking eggnog and laughing away in their tacky Christmas sweaters.
Shouldn’t I be doing that, too?
Honestly, I’ve always had a sense of dread around Christmas for this very reason. When I was a kid, my father would always drink too much and go into a rage and the whole day would be ruined. It was anything BUT your normal family holiday scene. As a young adult, I felt bad if I was single at the holidays or didn’t have plans for New Years. In my 30’s, it was imperfect for so many reasons that would take a year to list, and even now, with my wonderful husband and two awesome fur babies, I feel a sense of lack around the holidays.
In the past few years, I’ve experimented with different ways of dealing with my holiday malaise. Last year, my husband and I went to Costa Rica. We literally spent the whole day on a plane on the 25th and I loved that we skipped the day entirely. However, traveling over the holidays has its own issues and after almost missing our connecting flight home and being stranded in customs with 7000 cranky travelers, we swore up we’d never travel over Christmas again.
There was also that year we skipped Christmas entirely. We decided to adopt the Jewish traditions for the holidays and just get takeout and watch movies all day long. There was no tree, no holiday cards, no gifts, no events. Just business, as usual, all December long. Ironically, the only things I really missed about the holidays that year was our annual Christmas card tradition. We always take a picture with the dogs and send cards out to everyone we know whether they celebrate Christmas or not (we keep the cards agnostic). I love this tradition because as I sit and write out the cards, I have a moment thinking about each person who receives it. It’s heartwarming to think about all the friends and family we have in our lives.
This year, we’re staying home for Christmas. I did put up a tree, mostly because I think it makes the living room look cozy and inviting. We’ll buy each other a few things that we’d probably want to get anyway, and we’re meeting up for dinner with a few friends that will be in town as well. That’s it!
What about you? Are Christmas traditions a big deal for you and your family?